Thursday, January 29, 2009

Today's post is about Benji. If you ride a moped, then you probably already know who that is (or at the very least, know his ebay store "Treats HQ.") Recently he launched his own webstore: . So, I thought I would take this opportunity to say a bit about him, and while I'm at it, possibly promote the shop. For those who don't know about Benji, he is in possession of some serious otherworldly voodoo. A good example of this is his uncanny ability to have things at your door the moment you realize you need them. No joke. Anyone who has bought more than a few things from him can attest to this. His ability to get parts that no one else can, or sometimes, even is aware of, is also clearly the work of magic and shamans. My favorite Benji story would have to be one I heard at Gender Bender this year. I'll spare you the details, but it started like most moped stories, with a moped breaking down. It ended with one of my favorite quotes ever though, "Benji touched my moped... and it ran." Like Benji is some sort of moped Jesus. His new site kind of acts as an embodiment of how awesome he is. (Check it out if you have not already: He even went as far as to hook me up with a mechanic friend of his, Jimmy, who was able to rebuild my dead Za50. That might not sound like a lot, but anyone who has one of these engines can tell you, finding someone to work on them is NOT an easy task. So, in addition to heading the leading "moped discount super disco" (as the website calls itself), he also leads the treats, a ragtag bunch of rock stars, drop outs, and ne'r do wells (sp?). The last couple times I was in SF, they welcomed me into the HQ, despite the chaos of keeping up with all his orders. We talked about (and over) Chicago style pizza, super strong, methed-out espresso, Mopeds' African roots, early LA punk, and the origin of the treats. I got a taste of formal moped education, and when all was said and done, I left with a big bag of treats, an inexplicable good mood, and some new friends. If you're reading this, big thanks Benji and Stoney and all the rest of the Treats. That said, the only way you can really know what I'm talking about with Benji and the Treats is to meet them, or failing that, cruise their site and chat with them a LOT, as I have. (haha a LOT.) I'll leave all you out there in blogoland with this little tidbit of comedy from the treatland site.

Go to this page and look under "categories"... keeping in mind that this is a moped parts site (primarily).

Here is what I wrote Benji on the subject of "love and life."

Hey Benji. Longtime listener, first time caller. Love the site and the treats though. Well, the reason I'm writing is my girlfriend is moving in. Don't get me wrong, she's great and I love her a lot, but I'm starting to feel like she's getting between me and my true love, my mopeds. How do I slow things down? Maybe Stoney can address this.

(Margaret, if you're out there reading this... I love you. This is completely for laughs sake.)

AND here is the response I just got:

well how long have you been with her?
how much are you willing to loose youself.
always remember to wear pants with a hole in the ...
is your rent reduced.
do you have to ride doubles more...
i live with 2 ex girlfriends and 1 girl who is pretty much in sain.
my last girlfriend abandon my moped in the middle of the haight st.

living with your girlfriend until or after your 29 is strickly forbiden to enjoy your life...
bad sentence structure

make lots of food and fuck like rabbits.
if she dosent like to go fast .. then you might wana rethink...the only girls that inspire are true genuine thrill junkys
speeding up
or slowing down.
is a girlfriend marriage
if so then rephrase the question.
dont do it
or go 100% with it.

Treats = Win.

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